It's in the Script Moments

Let's play a game, shall we? I will write two short scenes, and then describe to you two different characters. Match them with the appropriate scene. They both have the same name.

 

Scene 1:

Daniel smiled cruelly at his enemy, now so helpless on the muddied ground of the field. The man's eyes begged for mercy, but Daniel ignored them, and only thought of how those eyes would feel giving under his fingers.

 

"Please," he sputtered, coughing up blood. "I'm sorry."

 

"Too late for that, whelp," said Daniel. Slowly, as if savoring the moment like a slab of tender meat, Daniel raised his axe, aiming for the man's stomach.

 

"No! Please!"

 

The axe fell.

 

Scene 2:

Daniel's enemy lay on the muddy ground, eyes begging for mercy. His own eyes brimming with tears, for he knew he had to finish him off, Daniel raised his axe.

 

"Please," he sputtered, coughing up blood. "I'm sorry."

 

Daniel held the axe poised to swing at the man's neck and end his life. He knew what the man had done to him and his country, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

 

With arms feeling like wet wool, he lowered the axe.

 

"I won't kill you. Just get out. Get out now and never return."

 

Character 1:

This Daniel is a loving, caring, compassionate individual.

 

Character 2:

This Daniel is a sadistic, cruel individual.

 

If you had any trouble matching which Daniel belongs in which scene, then you need several weeks in Characterization Boot Camp. With latrine-cleaning duty.

 

"It's in the script" moments are what writers and readers call moments when a character's actions contradict with his or her established personality. They are typically the result of an author unwilling to budge off of their outline or plot summary, or, worse, to make a point.

 

Would a vegan who cries when she sees dead bugs sadistically torture someone to death? Would she even kill at all, even if it was for survival? Let's say she's smart and fast. Wouldn't she try to escape, or somehow trap the enemy or just knock him out somehow? Even if she was forced to kill him or did so accidentally, it's not bloody likely (no pun intended) that she would just brush it off.

 

Would a person who has been previously described as extremely well-organized suddenly "lose" that one vital sheet of paper? Such instances seem more like plot contrivances. It's so convenient that he lost the copy of the instructions for disarming the stolen Death Ray. Now there can be 10,000 more words and lots more tension.

 

There are two main questions to ask yourself with scenes you're not sure about.

 

1. Does the scene even need to happen? Would the aforementioned vegan stay out on the ground in a forest when she sees an enemy approaching? No. Most likely, she'd try to climb a tree and hide (and try not to eat it).

 

2. Does the character react appropriately? Would a character who thinks that he always gets everything right the first time conveniently walk down the bottom of the crevasse to make sure his enemy is really dead and find the Amulet of Xexpillywoopicon?

 

If you still really want to have the scene... then either put a different character there, or change the personality of the character that appears. Both of these, however, may end up being harder than simply removing the scene, and may have ramifications on the rest of the story.