Things You Don't Want A Doctor To Say To You

1. Oops.

2. Now there's something you don't see every day.

3. Eh, I guess I can sew it back on.

4. Nurse, get the insecticide!

5. I hope you didn't have plans for that.

6. Did you know that a doctor has a 6.75% chance of giving the wrong antivenin for a snake bite?

7. *speaking in an undertone to another doctor* What do you mean I filled the IV drip with morphine instead of the salt solution?

8. All right Eric... can I call you Erica from now on?

9. Doctor (during surgery): Uhh... you're a herpetologist, right?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Then could you tell me what this thing is?

10. Aw man, this is going to take all day!

11.*during surgery*

There's something in here. Nurse, get me a scalpel.

...

Nurse, get me a forceps.

...

Nurse, go to the hardware store and get me a pliers.

12. No, my license is not fake.

13. I'm drawing a blank here. Which one do you think I should cut?