Good Description

One of the base elements of writing is, without a doubt, description. It helps to know what things look like when reading a book. Here are five rules of description that should be followed in any story. I have already covered how to describe characters.

1. If something at a certain place (items on the walls, furniture, trees, terrain) the character(s) visit at one point will come into play later, mention it beforehand. Otherwise it may seem too much like a Deus ex Machina if your hero uses a conveniently placed sheet of corrugated iron to deflect an attack. Alternately, make sure that anything coming into play would simply make sense being at that location. A sheet of corrugated iron at a dump or scrap yard would make perfect sense. A sheet of corrugated iron at the office of an accounting firm would not.

2. Avoid excessively ornate or flowery prose (also known as purple prose) like the plague. Describing something as “effulgent” or “frangible” only serves to confound and confuse readers. Just say “bright” or “delicate”. Lumping adjectives on every noun and adverbs on every verb just bogs down the story. Here’s a basic list of things to consider.

-       You probably shouldn’t use more than two adjectives on a single noun. Heck, be careful when using more than one. Even if you’re just using one, make sure it’s necessary. Your readers will probably know that fire is hot, and that the sky is blue, and that knives are sharp.

-       Be careful when consulting a thesaurus. Never use a more obscure synonym if the common version will fit just as well.

-       If you must use an obscure word, make sure that it is easy to tell what it means from the context of the word.

3. When used properly, description can offer insight into the viewpoint character’s life and personality, whether the story is told in third or first person. If a character describes things in bare-bones, basic words, then it can be inferred that the character is taciturn and serious. A character who, instead of seeing trees as simply “trees”, sees them as “red pines” and “white spruces” and “aspen” would likely be a woodsman or scientist. Someone who waxes poetically on things might be a poet or an artist. And depending on what they paint/write about, they may focus more on the big picture or on smaller details.

4. Don’t spend more than a few words on details that are irrelevant to the plot and don’t show anything of characters’ personalities. And if they don’t add to the scenery at all, then they probably shouldn’t even be mentioned.

Now, this last rule is one of the best. If you only choose one rule to follow here, make it this one.

5. What you describe should be dependent on the viewpoint character, whether you are using first or third person. Let’s say you’re describing a palace. Instead of immediately resorting to the tired old “beautiful sculpted arches” drivel, consider who is doing the observing, and how their personality and experiences would affect how they see it.

An arrogant king or ambassador from a more powerful kingdom would likely think of how this palace pales in comparison to the wonder and beauty of their own.

“I made no effort to hide my sneer as I walked through the dingy path of scrap stone to the roughly-carved birch—pathetic, mine are of the finest cedar—doors of the palace.”

A mason or architect who worked on it would likely marvel at what a good job they had done, and possibly focus less on the stones and sculptures and more on what it had taken to put them there.

“I was proud of the twin dragon statues guarding the door, even though the one on the right had cost me two toes while I was carving its head.”

An army lieutenant would likely cast a more critical eye over the palace, wondering how easy it would be to defend, and how it might hold up in the event of an assault.

“I couldn’t help noticing how the roof immediately sloped upward to a sharp point. It would be hard to get archers stationed there.”

The only person who would be likely to marvel at its beauty would be an artist or someone who has never seen anything so grand. Even so, they might not know words like “merlon” or “parapet” or “eave”.