Dialogue Tags

We’ve all seen dialogue tags before. They’re the guys that pop up after people say things. Like this.
 
“Anyone here know what that means?” asked Elijah.
 
“I do! I do!” shouted Jessica.
 
“No you don’t,” grumbled Robert.
 
Applied correctly, they can really spice up a piece of writing. Unfortunately, they’re also very easy to misuse. Misused dialogue tags even crop up in published works.
 
“Aye,” Orik agreed.
 
“Aye” already tells us he’s agreeing. The “agreed” tag is completely unnecessary. Yes, I know I love to pick on Christopher Paolini, but it’s just so fun to do. Other examples could include:
 
“I guess I'll do that,” he decided.
 
 "That's hilarious!" he laughed.

"Sorry," he apologized.
 
So, how do you avoid dialogue tag misuse? Well, it’s easy as long as you keep in mind these three simple rules.
 
1. Ask yourself if you even need a dialogue tag. If there are only two people talking in a scene, it should be obvious who is talking.
 
2. “Said” may seem boring, but it’s still the one you should be using the most. Constant use of tags like “boasted” and “interjected” will disrupt the flow of the story. You certainly can use “asked” when the character is asking a question, “shouted” when they’re shouting, just be careful.
 
Also, if what is being said makes it obvious what the intent of the dialogue is, you don’t have to use the proper tag. For example, if a character says, “I agree”, you shouldn’t be adding “he agreed” to the end.
 
There are hundreds of words you could use for a dialogue tag, but there are only about 20 that you should be using, listed below with their definition and an example.
 
Said - If you have to look this one up, I weep for the future of humanity.
“I don’t like that,” Marshall said.
 
Asked - For when the character asks a question.
“Want to go to the park?” asked Jessica.
 
Shouted - Just like said except loud, for when a character is angry or needs to make himself heard.
“People, please! Listen to me!” shouted Kevin.
 
Exclaimed - For when the character suddenly realizes something and blurts it out.
“David’s the one!” exclaimed Albert.
 
Demanded - For when they are asking and want an answer.
“Where is it?” demanded Ross.
 
Commanded - For when they give an order and expect it to be obeyed.
“Get me a sandwich!” commanded David.
 
Moaned/Groaned - Both words are pretty much the same, but moaned works better if the character’s speech is garbled because he or she is tired, and groaned works better if they’re in pain.
“Five more minutes,” moaned Jennifer.
“My head,” groaned Alex.
 
Called - Similar to shout, except more often used for calling from across a road or river.
“Come over here!” called Jack from the other side of the bridge.
 
Interrupted - For when a character is cutting another one off.

"I saw him handing a package to Susan, and–"
“That’s why!” interrupted Annie.
 
Hissed - An angry, snakelike sound. Use only if there are actually S’s in the sentence to hiss on.
“Silently slinking through the halls doesn’t work with me,” hissed Sheldon.
 
Declared - For a declaration.
“It’s me! I’m the werewolf!” he declared.

Laughed, chuckled, and giggled are iffy. Typically, "said with a laugh/chuckle/giggle" or "said, laughing/chuckling/giggling" works better, but you can use them if you want. Same applies to other similar words like "guffaw" or "snicker". Stammered and sputtered should also be used with care.
 
There are also a few dialogue tags which should not be used, ever.
 
Ejaculated - Yes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle used it, but now it would only really work in an erotic novel, and even then it’d be weird.
 
Apologized - The words should make it obvious that the character is apologizing, so no. Don’t use it.
 
Nodded/Smiled/Smirked/Scowled/Any Similar Tag - These words describe facial expressions and movements, not speaking styles. How exactly does someone "nod" or "scowl" a word?